Pre-School Proms Turning Toddlers Into Tiara Tyrants

Forget naptime, there’s a hot new event at nurseries around the country: the ‘pre-school prom’.

Recently the MailOnline ran a story on Beth Woolley, an 11-year-old from Tipton whose mother Aimee splashed out £1000 on clothes, transport and beauty procedures to prepare her for her ‘primary school prom’. Shockingly, Beth won’t be the youngest child decking herself out this summer; tots aged three to four will be glamming up for their own lavish events.

When the trend for proms began in the US, they were typically only held when a teenager graduated from high school aged 16 or 17. Now, children as young as three may find themselves invited to a prom.

At a ‘preschool prom’ a tot may be encouraged to arrive in a swanky car or limo, walk down a red carpet and have professional photographs taken with his or her tiny pals. After the event, parents might be asked to purchase a DVD 'movie' of the prom. 

Another feature of the American high school prom that has been co-opted by preschools is the practice of handing out awards, such as ‘Friendliest Toddler’ and ‘Best Tidy-Upper’. On one hand, it could be suggested that encouraging competition in children from an early age is ‘healthy’ and will prepare them for challenges in life – specifically the first-come-first-serve climate of the primary school playground. On the other hand, they’re only toddlers. These tots will learn enough about competition later on, when they have to compete for jobs and partners. Toddlers should be running around making sandcastles, not vying for various titles.

Yet, unfortunately, awards aren’t the most discomfiting part of the preschool prom. The difference between a school disco and a prom is that at the former children are generally encouraged to wear inexpensive clothes that they can boogie in. At the latter, appearance is key. Like Beth Woolley’s mother, parents of preschoolers will feel under pressure to doll their children up in tiered, diamante dresses and sharp three-piece suits – which, as the kids are so little, are likely only to be worn once. High street department store Debenhams is cashing in on the prom phenomenon, and has launched an expensive range of prom dresses for ‘Little Ladies’ and suits for ‘Miniature Gents’ created by designers such as John Rocha. One of the primary reasons school uniforms exist is so that children are equal. Uniforms ensure kids don’t experience feelings of inadequacy and/or bullying if their families can’t afford new trainers or brand-name t-shirts. As the Woolley’s story shows, these events can often escalate into ridiculous displays of wealth which, more often than not, leave one or several less-moneyed children feeling embarrassed or unworthy.

There’s another troubling aspect of the toddler ball that can’t go unrecognized: pre-sexualisation. There is simply no need for a three-year old to be wearing make-up, applying fake nails or having a spray tan: they should be focused on developing the content of their character, not the quality of their appearance. I am sure not all parents whose children have attended preschool proms have trussed them up like dolls but, unfortunately, a quick google search returns examples of those who have. But those those parents should not be treated too harshly. The word ‘prom’ conjures up ideas about glamour; misguided guardians may think they need to enhance their children in this way, and that they and their child will be judged if they don’t. Proms create bubbles; attention and energy is poured into the event, and practices that would seem ridiculous in the ‘outside world’ suddenly become permissible.

Finally, need we mention the glaring issues concerning gender that surround these baby balls? Proms encourage kids to conform to gender norms. A boy must be a dashing ‘Prom King’, and a girl a sweet ‘Prom Queen’; males in suits, females in dresses. Rather than teaching tots to wear what they like and be comfortable in their own skin, 'preschool proms' reinforce the belief that clothing defines who you are.

Society has a slight obsession with all things mini – the ‘travel size’ sections of pharmacies are ever-expanding and Tesco makes a mint off bite-size pizzas. Toddlers may look adorable in little suits and tiny prom dresses, but the ‘aww-factor’ doesn’t make up for the ‘ugh’ moments incurred along the way. ‘Preschool proms’ are only likely to cause stress, expense and jealousy – bring back the cheesy DJs, play-clothes and jelly and ice-cream which characterised school leaving parties of yore. 

Singapore Takes A Step Back With Gay Book Ban

Children’s stories trumping inclusivity are to be scrapped by a traditionalist book board in Singapore.

The National Library Board (NLB)  has not only banned but will destroy copies of three children’s books featuring portrayals of ‘unconventional’ families following complaints from a handful of members of the general public.

The move seems to mimic Russian President Vladimir Putin’s ban on the distribution of ‘gay propaganda’ in Russia earlier this year. Both rulings effectively curtail freedom of expression and freedom of press, as pro-LGBT writers are less likely produce said materials if it is illegal to distribute them. The bans also limit each country’s citizens’ freedom of choice when it comes to reading material.

The banned books in question are And Tango Makes Three, a story (based on real events) about two male penguins raising a penguin chick; Who’s In My Family: All About Our Families, a book which describes and depicts ‘unconventional’ family set-ups; The White Swan Express: A Story About Adoption, a tale concerning a lesbian couple’s attempt to adopt.

Singapore’s Communications and Information Minister Yaacob Ibrahim showed his support for NLB’s decision in a statement on Facebook. ‘‘NLB’s approach is to reflect existing social norms, and not to challenge or seek to change them’’, he said.

In the UK gay and lesbian families are, increasingly, considered to be part of the social norm, but in Singapore it is a different story. The Southeast Asian country has strict and specific laws on homosexuality. Lesbian women are allowed to engage in sexual activity, serve in the military and gain access to IVF services. Meanwhile, it is illegal for gay men to have sexual relations, serve in the forces or hire a surrogate: the penalty for any of these ‘crimes’ is up to two years in prison. Same-sex marriage is illegal for both women and men.

In spite of these laws, there is a thriving, underground LGBT community in the country. Gay citizens make use of the anonymity the internet affords, and use portals such as ‘Blowing Wind Gay Forums’ to discuss the challenges they face. Pengali Pride Centre is a centre for sexual minorities in Singapore which holds a variety of events and has an extensive library of gay literature.

The dissemination of the aforementioned children’s books in public libraries was a step in the right direction for the LGBT movement in Singapore - a step that might have helped the community come into the light. Sadly, the NLB has chosen to privilege ‘tradition’ over progression, and helped to hurtle Singapore even further back into the dark ages.  

Loom Bands: The Crafty Craze Keeping Kids Off Computers

In the twenty-first century it is typical to see a preteen’s head bent in concentration as they pore over the latest app or video game…or maybe not. A new ‘toy’ has been selling like crazy and preoccupying kids for hours: Loom Bands.

Loom Bands are small, multi-coloured elastic bands which can be stretched and manipulated to form pretty bracelets. One industrious crafter even made a Loom Band dress, which is selling for over £153,900 on eBay. 126 users have bid in the hope of owning the item.

While the intricate creations can sell for big bucks, the bands themselves are relatively inexpensive. Packets of bands cost around £2.50, and have been flying off toy-shop shelves worldwide. Over three million Rainbow Looms – the tool used to make the bracelets – have been sold so far.

The bracelets are not just popular with kids. Retired footballer David Beckham and Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, have both been spotted wearing the colourful creations. 

Yet, the cheap, fun and popular hobby is not without its perils. Seven-year-old Kyle Lawrence of Cleethorpes has been left blind in one eye after his older brother accidentally pinged a band in his direction. After the mishap Kyle was violently ill and suffered a blood clot. The bands also pose a danger to circulation. A GP from Bristol has shared a picture of a child whose fingers turned blue after he wrapped loom bands around them before going to sleep.

Noting Loom Bands’ health dangers many primary schools have banned children from bringing the kits to class and wearing the bracelets. Loom Bands are also said to be having repercussions on social relationships, as schoolchildren argue and fall out when making and trading the jewellery.

Not all schools have imposed a ban on the bands. Some institutions have noted that making the bracelets teaches children about the importance of industry and enterprised, and have encouraged them to sell their carefully-crafted trinkets at school fetes. Money raised can be donated to charity or used to buy more bands.

Overall, I believe we should see the craze as a positive thing. In 2014, the majority of children’s ‘games’ are computerised, and children as young as two have their own Apple products. 36 percent of children get the majority of their entertainment from the screen compared to just eight percent twenty years ago, a survey by Co-operative Childcare reveals. Arguably, any activity that minimizes the time kids spend goggle-eyed should be welcomed.

Making bracelets is a fun activity which keeps children off computers and teaches them that they can make beautiful things if they work hard. As long as kids are closely supervised and taught to trade with each other fairly the practice should be allowed to continue. Toy fads only stick around for a short while, anyway…in a few weeks time Loom Bands will probably be as outdated as Alien Babies and Pogs.